you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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