Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Randomize