I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize