I feel great
I just peed on a car
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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