You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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