I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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