A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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