Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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