I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize