census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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