the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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