she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize