This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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