I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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