the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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