taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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