I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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