I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
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Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
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Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I pour the whiskey from now on
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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