Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
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I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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