I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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