We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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