it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
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Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
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Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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