he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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