Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
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he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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