I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
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Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize