Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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