my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize