Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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