I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize