Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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