What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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