I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
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I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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