You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize