well most of my day revolves around power hour
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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