I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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