I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize