I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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