cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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