Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize