If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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