I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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