Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize