I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize