I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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