the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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