Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
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so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
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I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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