it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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