I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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