I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
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We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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pray to the hookup gods
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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