"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize